What makes a happy marriage?

“What makes a happy marriage? It is a question which all men and women ask one another…The answer is to be found, I think, in the mutual discovery, by two who marry, of the deepest need of the other’s personality, and the satisfaction of that need.” - Pearl Buck

Things I’ve learned from reading the book “Getting the Love You Want”

• We enter marriage with childhood wounds we expect our partners to heal for us.
• We must know our deepest needs and be able to communicate it to our partner.
• We must learn how to deal with our partner’s criticism of us. We must learn how to say what we want without making the other feel attacked.
• We must stop believing that our partners can read our minds.
• We must focus on healing our partner; in turn we will be able to heal ourselves.
• We must learn to be in touch with our anger and rage; not be consumed by it or repress it.
• We must also learn to deal with our partner’s anger by acknowledging his right to express his emotions.
• We must give without expecting anything in return.
• We must treat our partners as a passionate friend and our ally; not our surrogate parent.
• We must simply act in a loving way.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. -1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Read the book excerpt (click photo)

IMAGO RELATIONSHIPS INTERNATIONAL

Dreaming of World Peace? Start with your Relationship by Tim Atkinson.

above photo from Flickr, uploaded by dhammza, “another love story”.